Things have changed. I've changed. That's why I'm back.
Beau & Bub ended (officially) in Deciembre. Though we died inside long before that. I became me for the first time in a long time. I was a happy girl. But then I did the dumb thing.
I fell in love again.
This guy isn't new. Not in the slightest. In fact on here you know him as G. But I saw him through single eyes as a grown up and bam. Love. Truly. Crazily. In a kinda....permanent...way.
Then all this: went traveling, we went to fast, talked everyday, came home - early, got collected, slept, lay, fell more, money is valuable, fell again, it got hard, missing him, priorities, a talk, desperation, clinginess, I said I wanted to be alone - lie, I cried, a lot, fell more as I appreciated the amount of pain, asked for him back, kinda, invited him over.
So I see him. Tuesday. God knows what will happen. I've never felt this way before. I am terrified. We will see.