Monday 31 October 2011

This is the thing

This is where my heart can't take over.

Sunday 30 October 2011

In my head

I should not be inserting you into my dreams
you said never
and I believed

but I can't help but picture
you & me.

With Love, Beau xx

Un amour

And suddenly
there comes a gust of wind
and the foundation shifts.

It is a smile
that has reinvented all this.

That has reminded me
who me
used to be.

and I am new again
and that is a confusing
upsetting
devastating
exciting
thrilling
hopeful
fateful
thing.

What is this?

With love, Beau xx

Monday 24 October 2011

Nowadays

My heart is melting bit by bit,
he's got me in a little twist.

I smile every day.

With Love, Beau xx

Friday 14 October 2011

Hello

And now I am like this
I can say
the things I've been meaning to
the truth, or at least underlying shadows
of us.

For instance
that you hurt me, occasionally,
and that that emphasises the fact, in my mind,
that I am not good enough.

And that, sometimes, I wonder
if you know who I am
because I always act happy for you
because that is what I feel I need to do.

But then I remember the times I've been honest about the past
about my heart
how despite the scars
you said
I love you
before I knew it to be true.

And I realise that it's more that I need
reassurance
from you, rather than that the foundation isn't there.

With Love, Beau xx


Are these cliched terms conveying correctly?

Because occasionally I worry that they seem false, fake, immature

Which is the opposite of what they are.

Fairy stories

Once upon a time
I mentioned forever
or almost forever at any rate.

I have never regretted saying anything more.

Because although we're not there yet
I'm looking at this rationally
through a grown up's eyes
(because supposedly we are both grown up's)
and seeing that this risk, hurt, complication
would not be worth it if that wasn't a possibility.

So no I'm not planning for it
I'm not resting on it
and I'm certainly not going to force it.

But I have no intention of going anywhere

and I kinda like you.

With Love, Beau xx

I tried my best to never let you in

We are different

because we were entirely an accident.

For once,
the first time
in a long time
love was the last thing I wanted.

And then you came.

And you made me fall
because of who you are
not because of what I hunted.

It is you that I am in love with

and for that reason
this, us, we are real.

(But in all honesty I think you know that because it courses through every moment I spend with you)

I can't deny this anymore.

We wouldn't be trying this if it wasn't true.

With love, Beau xx

Sunday 2 October 2011

Corazon

My definition of home has suddenly
and unexpectedly
changed.

No it's not what you think
or rather it's not where I now reside.

It's a place that moves
a place that grounds me
a place that is a person.

Because isn't home meant to be where you feel safest?

Here's the kicker

I feel safest with him

With love, Beau xx