Thursday, 24 January 2013


The crushing disappointment
reminds me that I wasn't wasting my time.

The overwhelming hope joy
reminds me that I have received so much from life. 

With love, Beau xx

Saturday, 19 January 2013


Dreaming in general
has become a dangerous pursuit,

I don't dare to want the things I do
so my subconscious does it for me.

With love, Beau xx

Wednesday, 16 January 2013


Here's a plea to every person out there
who is confused, or lonely, or emotional;
being second/third/tenth best
never feels ok
no matter how much you want it to
to achieve the outcome that you daydream about
so don't ever let yourself be it. 


You will get hurt,
there will be a reminder 
a photo or a comment 
and suddenly every emotion that you've suppressed
will come flooding back
when you last need it to. 

With love, Beau xx

I want

I want to be the girl you call when you have a bad day
I want to call you when I have too
you make me laugh and I think I do the same
so if any equation seems perfectly solved
it is surely this one?

How frustrating, then, that it isn't
and I can't just come out and tell you 
boldly, directly, as I do with every thing else
that that is what I want.

(I suppose it could be that I want
never seems to get)

With love, Beau xx

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

For better

So here it is then
the moment that I had dreaded
for so long
for I am on my own
for better or worse
in the cold north... strange it is then
that I feel so content.

The sudden realisation that I have been 
putting off an event 
that actually had little effect
is almost irritating.

By the way,
I am partly putting this down
to the sheer number of smiles
you have put on my face
of late.

For better or worse?

For better,
for much, much better. 

With love, Beau xx

Monday, 14 January 2013

'Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again'

There's a reason I keep up this bad habit.
At least we both find it amusing
how laughably fallen for you I am.

At this stage,
you could do anything and
I would still
come running back.

At that I sound awful and lost and useless

but I keep doing it with the vague
unending hope that something good
will come from it.

With love, Beau xx

Saturday, 12 January 2013


Just for a moment
I kid myself
that there is some innate element of this
that is special, unique, important
'meant to be'

And then you remind me
through my membership of your
exclusive club
that there is no love story here.

That I can fall for you
over and again
looking into your eyes
and seeing someone who I care for
so much.

That everytime
I will get hurt
I will fall on my face
because you have never fallen for

My biggest death
when my heart drops
and my mouth goes dry
with panic
is when I realise you've fallen for someone
else instead.


I will fall for you, again.

With love, Beau xx