Monday, 28 May 2012

Lesson learnt

The best kind of love
isn't that which flares and burns in the night sky
with flashes so strong it uplifts you
but burns you too.

No the best kind
or so I've learnt in these last few months
is that which is silent and subtle
glowing in the background of every moment.

I've had the first kind and it hurt.

The second kind doesn't
because while it's not perfect
it comes from tenderness and care and adoration and appreciation
not from the quick desires of the human form.

This kind of love is precious
and that is why I'm holding on to it.

With love, Beau x x

Sunday, 27 May 2012

The problem

is that I feel secure, content, loved, special
but also gone
because I am
and I miss him.

That isn't to say this is impossible
I can't do it
or I'm going to give up in any way.

It's just to say that I do.

With love, Beau x x 

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

I hope the way I feel lasts forever.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012


There's a chance
that this is all in my head.

That when I see a problem
he sees, well, nothing.

Paranoid android much?

And the kicker is
I'm then stressed 
about this imaginary hatred
he is feeling for me

and taking it out on him

usually in my head
as he sleeps next to me.

And now I've realised
that that's just silly.

I love him, and that's why I'm still here.

He loves me, and that's why he's still here.

It really is
as simple as that.

With love, Beau xx 

Monday, 14 May 2012

The precipice

I can see it
I can see the end
I can see the edge
I'm falling over it
And you're not stopping me.

For a moment it feels
as though
(as I'm wrapped in caring arms)
that you don't want to see my end.

But that stops
because I'm still scared
that you'll be gone
come morning sun.

I don't know when I'll feel ok again.

With love, Beau xx

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

He is the place

that I run away to
and yearn for
and daydream about.

I'm strong
I am
but I need to be weak
when I am there.

Because I'm only being honest
if I show my weakness too. 

But honesty, weakness, vulnerability
that's a terrifying thing...

and now I've really taken the risk.

With love, Beau xx


you didn't make me feel better.

you made me worry more.

you made me feel guilty

for having feelings at all.

With love, Beau xx