Tonight I put up your photo
For the first time
In a long time
Because
Well so much because
Because when I look at it
I feel eighteen again
Or at least
How I did about you
The repeat show
I've had for weeks now
Because when we speak
I get butterflies of excitement
Instead of apprehension
And it feels
Innocent
or implausible at the least
Because
Because I'm not a
Wide eyed, confused
Impossibly naive,
Cruel teenage girl
Anymore
Seeking a definition for myself
Because I'm now a
Woman with experiences
And testimony
About life and the things
That happen in it
Yet don't know myself, at all
Because
Because I think you
Know that woman
Better than me
Having learned to see
Through the haze
That has been my life
Because you have
Carved some decency
Into that human being
Against all odds
By challenging and yet
Supporting her, me
Because I wanted to
Because despite midnight warnings I want you
Because despite the challenges and change I want you to want me too
Because it's you
With love, Beau xx