Sun is rising

My cheeks hurt

because I have smiled

for the last 14 hours

straight.

With love, Beau xx

Alternative

I wish

that we become how we were

that I remember that night and whether

I said no,yes,maybe

that you trust me

especially when I say

that since I've been yours

I have not looked at a single other man

as anything other than a friend

because I do not see their faces.

I miss yours

I love yours

I am yours

And I can't bear the thought of an incident

that I cannot recall or fathom

throwing that all away.

Here it is: Please I need you. Please don't go.

With love, Beau xx

Hello?

I'm not going to beg

for you to forgive me

because if I do that

and it is your love for me, your pity for me

that changes your mind

we will be eternally haunted

because you must be the one to decide.

I will say this

I love you

& I more than kind of need you.

With love, Beau x x

Cleanse

I'm burning up inside

surely this is what you do when you enter hell

and that appears to be where I am

and that is because of me, and you, and us

and the things we do.

Did, though.

Because that is past

although I wish it wouldn't last

as part of memory

my history.

I detest the fact I am just a number

on a list that you have lost the strength to remember.

I detest you

in all honesty.

I detest you

for changing me

for breaking my morals, personality, humanity down

into digestible pieces

for your own pleasure.

And killing me with your mind games

emotional, caring names

false gestures.

Because you never cared, never

I am just a number

that is all I remember.

With love, Beau xx

Tala

That name filled with warmth

brings light to my life.

With Love, Beau x x

X

For me

this was once in a lifetime

and yet it has shattered everything.

And so for you

who has acted this scene

a thousand times

how do you even survive?

And I realise that it was that drive, to keep you alive

that made me hold too tight.

I cared and in that I was mistaken.

Because you have wounds to heal

and I am just a meal

that keeps your soul's starvation

at bay.

Do you realise that I am destroyed?

Do you realise that I'm still your toy?

Do you realise that I can help you boy?

I can help you

and I want to

and I don't think you've had that for a while.

With Love, Beau xx