I should not keep restricting
the things that slip out
of my mouth
The thing is
I never tell you quite how bad
I really feel
like tonight how I've cried, through the night.
When you hurt me, albeit inadvertently
I hide it away in a locker inside my heart
(admittedly easier to do when we're apart).
I am afraid, you see
of you leaving me
to an irrational degree.
And so in that locker
everything gets stacked together
until eventually I express it
The thing is I've done this before
and destroyed myself in the process
and you don't really know how bad my head
And that fear comes from forces far beyond insecurity
and those forces should no longer define me.
So why do they? And why can't I simply believe
that you actually love me?
With love, Beau xx